One of Abbotsford Hospice & Grief Support Society's incredible volunteers, group facilitators and grief course instructors Cam Taylor married his friend Jean on May 5th, 2024.
In 2020, Cam lost his wife Vicky of over 36 years from cancer, and has been on a personal grief journey ever since. Cam has volunteered his time and talents with AHGSS, supporting those going through grief and loss.
In his own words: "As I begin this new chapter with Jean, I’m grateful for what I’ve learned and for the help I received along the way as I grieved, healed, and learned to live again after my loss."
The words Cam shared during his wedding reception were a beautiful reflection on how he wants to live with his beautiful wife. His hope is that these words will inspire others to reflection on how they want to live. Cam says, "You may not feel like you’re ready for a new start right now, but hold out hope that a new beginning is possible at the right time. "
Our N.E.W. S.T.A.R.T. - Reflections on How We Want to Live:
N – never forget those who have helped us get to where we are today.
E – enjoy each day as a gift because we don’t know which day will be our last. [Momento Mori – meditate on your mortality]
W – watch for the people who need a word of encouragement, a listening ear, or a gift to let them know they are loved exactly as they are.
S – sing when it’s raining and when the sun is shining.
T – thank God every day for who He is and for the many ways He keeps showing up day after day.
A – ask people for help when we need it.
R – reflect and rest often so we don’t get so busy doing we forget to be present.
T – take time to play and live. Ride bikes. Go to live theatre. Fly kites. Smell the flowers. Watch the birds. Laugh. Learn. Listen. Live. Love. Lean into what life brings.
What it Means to Love and Live Again After Loss
"If you are in a place where your grief is raw and fresh, it may be challenging to even think about what I’m experiencing and writing about. I am very sensitive to those who are not where I am. I sit with those fresh in their grief in the grief group I facilitate. Those of you who have lost your spouse may not be ready to date again (I wasn’t for three years) or will never date again.
Getting married again is only one part of a multifaceted life I’m learning to live. Living encompasses a full range of experience. It include new friendships, new experiences, traveling to new places, dropping old behaviors and attitudes, learning a new identity and purpose, and finding a way to make meaning in the midst of loss.
Though loss feels painful, you are in control of who you get to be and what happens next. Of this I am sure: creating a new lifestyle will require you to change your thoughts and to form new daily habits, that will require you to plug in to life day after day after day, no matter how devastating the loss you experienced. How you think, what you do, and the way you participate in life will change your brain and identity, even if only in subtle ways.
My desire is to give you hope especially if you are in the valley of deep grieve. Deep grief doesn’t need to last forever. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It will look different for everyone but I do believe it’s possible to live again while holding space for your what you’ve lost. May you continue to grieve thoroughly, learn and apply the new ideas you need to shape your thoughts and behavior, find empathetic witnesses to tell your story to, find ways to help others with the help you have received, and believe that you can live again after loss.
Learning to live again, "
Cam
Cam Taylor facilitates AHGSS' Online Grief Course (link to this incredible course here).,
has facilitated the Volunteer Training Program, and provides one-to-one companioning.
His goal is to support those who have experienced loss and who are looking for guidance while on that journey.
Cam also has his own website and blog titled Good Grief Journey, with many inspiring and practical tips and advice on navigating loss.
Thank you Cam for allowing us to share your beautiful story, and for all your support of AHGSS.
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